Are you a single lady, just looking to find a good Christian man to date? There are good Christian single guys out there. Maybe you even have a man pursuing you now, but you’re not sure whether he is the right guy to date. Paying attention to a potential interest’s characteristics is important for finding that godly man. But knowing which characteristics are most important to you, as well as those characteristics to look for that will promote a healthy and fulfilling relationship can be overwhelming.
Are you aware there’s a difference between a good man and a godly man?
A godly man makes wise decisions, is kind, and loves you based on a godly standard. A good man makes sound decisions, is nice, and loves you based on a worldly standard.
While both of these men can be great boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands, discerning between a godly man and a worldly man is important if you want to date with purpose.
Being a Godly man it’s about his character, his morals, and his values as well as that he strives towards becoming more like Christ every day.
However, looking for God in a man will always be an impossible task. But, looking for a man that chooses to live a godly life—or love in ways that reflect God’s promises—is a worthwhile quest.
So, what qualities in a man should you look for? If we search through examples of God’s love in the Bible, we can piece together a reflection of him.
Here are some qualities in a Godly man for those ladies in the Christian dating world that will help pinpoint some of the most important qualities of a Christian man worth seeking:
Seek an honest man: A great indicator of honesty in a man is his willingness to be transparent. He gives you access to use his phone. He lets you know his needs, he is a man of his word, do not lie, steal or betray. Being honest, and living those truths evidently, is the foundational quality of a godly man.
Trust should be at the foundation of every committed relationship. This so, because after it is established, you feel encouraged to open up to each other, invest in each other, and eventually commit to each other.
Broken trust is a major deal-breaker in relationships, and lying is the fastest way of breaking that trust. No matter how big or small the lie might be, it leaves an unpleasant aftertaste and makes you suspicious of every following statement.
For this reason honesty is one of the most important qualities to look for in a potential spouse.
“Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices” (Col. 3:9).
“The Lord detests lying lips but delights in people who are trustworthy.” ( Proverbs 12:22).
Seek a man who expresses humility: Humility in a godly man recognizes that whatever strength, ability, or blessing he presently enjoys is ‘but by the grace of God’ (1 Cor. 15:10).
He is not too proud to kneel, not too important to lower himself to a child’s eye-level, humble enough to pray as a way of life, not as a display for others to witness. . He prays in his closet, in the car, while at work and with the people he loves and lives with. Not as a wearisome task or burden, but to seek his Father’s guidance.
One common habit of couples in healthy relationships is that both partners are able to lay aside selfishness and consider the other one’s interest and well-being as important as their own. That is only possible if both of you can humble yourselves.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” – Philippians 2:3-4
Seek a man who value commitment: A man who is committed will wince at the prospect of tearing away his flesh from his wife. If you love a man like this, thank him for honoring your unity.
God’s earliest breaths confirm this commitment;
“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
Seek a man that perseveres: A man without perseverance will give up every time he encounters challenges. This is a problem. Because if there is one thing that I can assure you then it’s that there are plenty of challenges to face in relationship. Challenges, set-backs and flat out failures will happen, especially in relationships. And they will test your spirit, your love and your faith.
Having someone by your side that knows how to persevere is important for you and your future family.
If you are not certain your love interest has perseverance, then just watch him in times of stress.
Does he give up quickly and lose all hope? Or does he trust God to make a way?
“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”(James 1:12).
Seek a man generous: A generous man that knows that his riches come from God. He has less difficulty to let go of worldly possessions and worries less about money. He knows that God can meet his needs and will provide for him in due time.
Apart from tithes and offering, you will encounter people that need help. While you certainly don’t have to give all, giving blesses the giver just as much as the recipient.
A man that gives generously attracts people that enjoy giving as well. And a community like that is sure to bless you and your future family when in need.
“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.” (2 Corinthians 9:6)
Seek a man that takes responsibility: Taking responsibility is a prime indicator of maturity and wisdom and therefore one of the more important characteristics to look for in a man. In a relationship, you will face a lot of situations where someone needs to take charge and make a decision. A man should be willing to do so spirit-led. But also take full responsibility for his actions in hindsight.
Take note of your boyfriend carefully when he is under fire. Does he own it or repeatedly blame it on something/ somebody else? If he tends to avoid taking responsibility, remember that small decisions now, become big decisions later.
“So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.” – Romans 14:12
Seek a man with good communication skills: A man, who is self-aware with good communication skill, will be able to say his needs and wants without getting angry or abusive. He will not be controlled by his emotions or pride, but by love.
He will know how to act in order to de-escalate potential arguments and make you feel heard. Knowing how to communicate with each other is essential for a successful relationship.
Seek a man that talks to you with respect and acts reasonably even when he is agitated.
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20).
Seek a man who is forgiving: In a relationship, you will be wronged because neither of you is perfect. If your man is forgiving, it’s a sign that he is compassionate and kind, which are all important in relationships.
Be sure that he isn’t the type to hold on to a grudge and be bitter, but instead looks for opportunities to experience joy. After all, forgiveness comes easy if the person is filled with love.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”. (Ephesians 4:32).
Seek a man that will be faithful: This insinuates a reputation. Most men can fake the things when trying to impress a girl. But does he have a reputation for being faithful? To have a reputation, people actually have to know him. Is he following God in every area of his life? Does he keep his commitments?
“Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?”(Proverbs 20:6).
Seek a hardworking man: Is he disciplined or is he all about his comfort? A diligent person can be counted on to provide. Does he work hard or is he prone to laziness.
“Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in forced labour” (Proverbs 12:24).
Seek a man who is repentant: It’s been said that the best apology is changed behavior. And this goes for men and women. A godly person takes hold of this reality, and repents through confession and new choices. And that means the wounds caused by sins committed in darkness can heal by God’s radiant grace as you walk in the light.
Romans 2:4 tells us that God’s kindness is meant to lead us to repentance. This means that God is always ready to forgive.
Seek a man that shows wisdom: In contrast to popular belief, wisdom isn’t just gained with age, but can be found at a younger age too. How? By fearing God and listening to wise counsel.
The last thing you want is a man that is full of pride and blinded by his own knowledge, believes he knows it all and doesn’t have to listen to anyone, including you.
Rather you want to be with someone that seeks wisdom by seeking God’s guidance, his word and a relationship with him. That man is humble and understands that no matter how much he knows, he doesn’t know it all and needs to rely on God.
“Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding.” (Proverbs 3:13).
Seek a man that has fear of God: This is the most important characteristic of a godly man in a relationship. If a man doesn’t fear God there is no guarantee that he is not going to change his behavior at one point. The only thing that will keep a man in check is if he fears God and lives his life accordingly. Knowing that God judges our behavior towards each other and sees the things we do in the dark encourages us to live a life of obedience.
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (Proverbs 1:7).
These Godly traits are a great foundation when you are seeking what characteristics to look for in a Christian man. While searching for these traits in man is a worthwhile quest, be sure to exhibit them too as they are based on biblical principles to help you date with a difference and Marry well.
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