WHAT GODLY MEN SEEK IN THE WOMEN THEY DATE

 

Many a time’s men focus mainly on a woman’s appearance when they are seeking whom they will date or marry. But there are more important traits to consider. The value and character traits of a woman are often underestimated by many men when looking for a mate. 

Choosing a mate isn’t all about physical beauty or even personality. In describing the nearly perfect woman in Proverbs 31:30, Solomon wrote, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised”. 

There are few traits of character a Christian woman should strive to attain, which Godly men seek after in a potential spouse. Here are some of them:

Godly men seek women of sound character:  In1Timothy 3:11 the apostle Paul wrote, “Wives must also be of good character. They must not be gossips, but they must control their tempers and be trustworthy in every way”. What foundational character can be more important than this?

Godly men seek women who will be faithful: Is she a woman of God who is committed to being faithful?

As Ruth famously said, “Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God” (Ruth 1:16). 

A woman who is committed to being faithful to God her entire life should be the foremost character a man looks for in a wife.

Who is her greatest influencer? : Every one of us has people who have a powerful influence on us, so considering whom she chooses to be influenced by is important. To whom does she look to the most for advice? Are these people of solid moral character? Solomon also wrote, “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray” (Proverbs 12:26).

Observe whom her closest friends and advisers are, and see what direction they influence her toward.

Godly men look for women who are tenderhearted: Is she tenderhearted toward others, wanting to help and serve others when she sees a need? Among the fruit of the Spirit we find kindness, goodness and gentleness (Galatians 5:22-23). These are spiritual qualities that allow us to exhibit the characteristics Paul described in Ephesians 4:32: “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Godly men seek women who are teachable:  This characteristics trait is a reflection of her heart. Perhaps nothing reveals a person’s depth and genuine level of humility more quickly than having a heart that is teachable. Not everyone can see a need to learn more and accept instruction.

A teachable person will be learning from his or her own mistakes, as well as those of others, and will be constantly growing and maturing. “Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a just man, and he will increase in learning” (Proverbs 9:9).

Godly men seek women who are careful with words: A lot of people throw around words freely, saying whatever they believe you want to hear, but never really meaning it. Others liberally sprinkle their conversations with gossip and scintillating tales about others. Women are not known to use vulgar or profane language, but it appears that societal taboo seems long gone now. Women today are often as crass and crude as men can be in their speech.

A woman of godly character will not allow her speech to become infected with anything that is improper or sinful.

God doesn’t see careless and idle words as something of little consequence. The Bible instructs us to be always truthful (Zechariah 8:16) and to avoid gossip (Proverbs 20:19). Her speech should always be “with grace, seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6). A woman who uses her words wisely and carefully will fulfill what Solomon wrote in Proverbs 25:11: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”

Godly men seek women who are respectful: Respect is one of the most misunderstood words in the Bible. A husband and wife are both called to respect one another, however, the way a man craves respect is different than what a woman craves. A man and woman both need love but they receive love differently. The way a man receives love is by being respected. 

A Christian man doesn’t want a woman who is helpless. But he is also unattracted to a woman who will not allow him to use his strength to serve her in humble leadership. Proverbs 11:22 states, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.”

A Christian man finds a modest woman attractive because biblically he knows it is safer to get to know her than a seductive woman.

 A Christian man will actually be pushed away from a seductive woman because he knows God has called him to flee sexual passions outside of marriage.

1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee from sexual immorality.”

Genesis 39:10-12, “And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. She caught him by his cloak and said, “Come to bed with me!” But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.”

In other words, it doesn’t matter how physically stunning a woman is, if she disrespects a man he will absolutely not be attracted to her.

Godly men seek women who express beauty through modesty: A Christian guy who is mature in the Lord is not going to want to date a woman who dresses sexy and in a way that purposefully insights passion in a man’s eyes. Of course men are responsible for not lusting after a woman’s body regardless of what she is wearing, but let’s not pretend there are not appearance choices a woman can make which she knows will arouse a man visually.

Rather than be attracted to a woman who does this, a Christian man will actually try to stay away from an immodest woman if he is trying to obey the word of God:

Proverbs 6:25, “Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.”

Proverbs 5:3-5 “For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave.

Godly men see women who are emotionally predictable:It is true that all humans are emotionally unstable sometimes. Men and women included. However, if you are unstable all the time and are constantly coming up with new ways to be offended or cause drama, this is going to push men away.  Proverbs 21:9 states, “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.”

Godly men seek women who are trustworthy: In a committed relationship, everything is out in the open. Whatever secrets you try to hide will only come back to haunt you later. A man should seek out a woman who trusts him and whom he can trust. Is she dependable? Can you be confident she’ll do what she commits to? “In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything”- 1 Timothy 3:11

Godly men seek women who are content: Is she constantly unhappy and dissatisfied? Or is she able to find joy in the hard times and the waiting? You’re not looking for a woman who never gets sad or feels unsettled, and we aren’t saying to write someone off for bringing up things she’s not happy with. But if she is overall someone who is never satisfied, it would be wise for her to find contentment in Christ alone before you’re added to the picture. “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.  Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs”- 1 Timothy 6:6-10

Godly men seek women who are peace lovers: A peaceful woman is not about drama or picking fights, but about pursuing and preserving unity. In fact, the book of Proverbs says it’s better to live in a desert (Proverbs 21:19) or an attic (Proverbs 25:24) than it is to be married to someone who is argumentative.

Godly men seek women who are hardworking: Have you heard of a Proverbs 31 woman from the famous passage that describes several desirable traits in a woman (Proverbs 31:10-31). Did you know that at least 11 of the 21 verses in that passage talk about her diligence and hard work? Look for someone who is hardworking and responsible; a woman who gets things done, when they need to be done, and who uses resources wisely.  

Godly men seek women who are committed to Christ: Christ should be the focus of her life. This looks like yielding to His word, being prayerful, living in community, and being committed to a body of believers.

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10) That’s a true trophy wife. That’s the true prize. “Give her the reward she has earned.”(Proverbs 31:31a). 

We could go on and on with the list of qualities of a Godly woman, but all of the mentioned qualities are good places to start when looking for God’s match for you. 

We were not meant to be alone in this world, but rather to share our lives with someone who will help us become better people. Single men, if you’re pursuing God yourself and you’re ready for marriage, find the godliest woman you know and ask her out. Single girls, if a godly man asks you out and you are open to dating, say yes. If you say no, be honest as to why. Men, be intentional. Women, be honest

And if there are areas she can grow, pray for her instead of writing her off. If you are looking for a replica of mother Mary; the mother of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ to marry, chances are you may not find any because she was created for that purpose. You’re not looking for a perfect woman, but a woman who is wholeheartedly following Jesus. Think about where she’s headed and who she’ll become, and trust God to work.

How To Keep The Spark Of Sexual Intimacy Alive In Your Marriage

 

Sexual intimacy and enjoying a healthy sex life are important parts of marriage. God designed sex and gifted it to us to be enjoyed within a marriage relationship.

Many marriages see a decline in sexual passion and satisfaction over time. Sexual excitement, passion, pleasure, and satisfaction do not have to dwindle with time. Sexual passion if properly nurtured, can last for decades in the life of married couples. 

The joy of sexual union between husband and wife is part of being married, and part of the role of the hussband and wife involves sexual intimacy.

 The benefits of sexual intimacy in marriage:

Sexual intimacy help couples to be physically and emotionally healthy. Studies have shown that married people enjoy better health if the relationship between the couple is healthy and satisfying.

Sexual intimacy help couples to manage life stressors more effectively and become supportive of each other in the process.

If you are struggling to agree or get along in other areas, sexual intimacy can help your marriage.

During periods of strain in a relationship or tumultuous times, sexual intimacy helps to keep the marriage together for some couples.

Sexual intimacy promotes healthy self-esteem, and will help you in other areas of your life.

When you have a healthy intimate relationship with your partner, your career, your parenting abilities, and your friendship will be better.

 God's Design for sexual intimacy

1Corinthians 7:1-6

7 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.

The Scripture encourages us to:

✓ Maintain a balanced and fulfilling

sex life (Vs. 2) . The husband and

wife decide on the frequency and

rhythm with which they enjoy

sexual intimacy. Sexual life must

be fulfilling, rewarding, and

satisfying to both.

✓ Sex must be enjoyed with

mutuality, each seeking to satisfy

the other (Vs. 3) . The husband

seeks to satisfy his wife, and wife

seeks to satisfy her husband. For

example,in sexual intimacy, the

husband is not just looking for

personal release and

gratification. He needs to engage

with his wife with the intent of

satisfying her,ensuring she enjoys

pleasure as well.

✓ Sex is an opportunity for the

husband and wife to enjoy each

other’s bodies and must not be

used to “hold something back”

(Vs. 4) . Do not use your body as a

weapon against your spouse by

withholding sex.

✓ The husband and wife can agree to

abstain from sex for a short period

of time for prayer and fasting(Vs.5) .

✓ The devil uses the areas of

sexuality as an area of attack, and

hence we need to be onguard in

this area. Enjoying a fulfilling sex

life is one important way to keep

the husband and wife secure in this

area (Vs.5) .

Keeping the Spark of Sexual Intimacy Alive in Your Marriage

Sexuality in Marriage can  change over time, but don't have to get boring. 

There are ways to prioritize marriage sexuality and keep it exciting.

Here are 10 tips to help you keep the spark of sexual intimacy alive in your marriage:

1. Set the mood in advance.

Start the foreplay in the morning if you want to have good sex at night. Send signals during the day,like hugs,texts, phone calls,or other flirtatious gestures to build excitements.

2. Hold hands and show affection. 

Studies shows that holding hands,hugging, and touching causes a calming sensation. Something as simple as long embrace,kiss,hand or foot massage can help you connect and build intimacy and signal to your partner that you are in the mood.

3. Communication. 

In marriage a healthy, and active sex life is anchored in communication. Share your innermost thoughts and feelings regularly. This might include talking about a sexual experience that you enjoy, or other things you might want to explore. True intimacy through communication can make marriage sexually great. 

4. Separate sexual intimacy from other issues. 

Sexual arousal loose excitement when we are distracted or streesed. So, avoid talking about relationship problems in the bedroom. 

5. Vary the kind of sex you have. 

Change your sex routine and try new things as sexual needs arise. Have gentle, tender, intimate and highly erotica sex. Experiment with new ways to bring pleasure to each other. 

6. Be emotionally vulnerable during sex. 

Share your fantasies, desires, and innermost wishes with your partner.

7. Make out time to spend with your partner. 

Enjoy courting and practice flirting with your partner as a way to ignite  sexual desire. Engage in a variety of activities that bring you both pleasure. 

8. Build up tension during romantic dates. 

Our brains tend to experience more pleasure when anticipated reward is delayed before we receive it. Take your time during foreplay, share fantasies and make sex more romantic. 

9. Foster emotional intimacy. 

A good sexual relationship is built on emotional intimacy, closeness and connection that allows you to share your thoughts and feelings without judgment and rejection. Focus on meeting your partner's needs and share your own needs in a loving and respectful way. 

10. Be intentional. 

Being intentional in this case means, consistently make time for sexual intimacy.

The Power of Hospitality

 The power of Hospitality

Genesis 18:1-12

18 The Lord appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day. 2 Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground.

3 He said, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by. 4 Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. 5 Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way—now that you have come to your servant.”

“Very well,” they answered, “do as you say.”

6 So Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah. “Quick,” he said, “get three seahs of the finest flour and knead it and bake some bread.”

7 Then he ran to the herd and selected a choice, tender calf and gave it to a servant, who hurried to prepare it. 8 He then brought some curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared, and set these before them. While they ate, he stood near them under a tree.

9 “Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him.

“There, in the tent,” he said.

10 Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”

Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. 11 Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”

Abraham (aka Abram) was 75 years old when God called and promised to make him a father of nations (Genesis 12:1–4). He was 86 when Ishmael, who was not the promised child, was born (Genesis 16:16) and 100 when Isaac, the promised child (Genesis 17:19, 21), was born (Genesis 21:5).   This meant that Abraham had to wait for 25years before the promised child, Isaac, was born, even after his mother Sarah was past the age of childbearing(Genesis 18:11). But, the approval of the promised child was established when Abraham displayed magnanimity in hospitality to strangers. How hospitable are you?

Shalom!

 

The Power of Persistent Midnights Prayers

 

The Power of Persistent Midnights Prayers

Luke 11:5-8

And He said to them, “which of you shall have a friend, and go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me on his journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; and he will answer from within and say, ‘do not trouble me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give to you’?

I say to you, though he will not rise and give to him because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will rise and give him as many as he needs.

Jesus is using a parable here to show us one of the most powerful spiritual secrets in the entire Bible.

Remember, He was speaking about prayer here. He’d just taught His disciples what is popularly known as, “The Lord’s Prayer.” Then He quickly followed up with this parable.

What He is saying, in plain English is this:

If you learn to ask for things (pray) at the midnight hour, and persist in this, you will receive answers from God as many times as you want!

This is the time that you can open the back door to heaven… using this golden key. It is the time power changes hands. It is the time to restore lost glory. It is the time to return evil arrows back to senders. It is the time to break chains, and set captives free. It is the time for victorious prayer. And you can do it every single night.

Shalom!

Command Your Morning

Command Your Morning

   Job 38:12-13

Have you commanded the morning since your days began and caused the dawn to know its place, So that [light] may get hold of the corners of the earth and shake the wickedness [of night] out of it?   

Throughout the scriptures, we see that the morning hours are a powerful time to connect with the Lord. Jesus Himself would go and spend time with the Father in the wee hours of the morning. When we start our mornings well, the rest of the day goes well.

“Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed” (Mark 1:35).

In Psalm 5:3, we see that the Psalmist found value in talking to God in the morning and making his requests known to the Lord.

A lot of evil and afflictions takes place at night, so we need to command the morning to reverse every arrow of wickedness directed at us while we sleep.

For, behold, the wicked bend the bow,

They make ready their arrow upon the string

To shoot in darkness at the upright in heart (Psalm 11:2).

For the dark places of the land are full of the habitations of violence (Psalm 74:20).

  In Matthew 13:24-30, Jesus speaks a parable of the wheat and the tares. The Scripture states, "Another parable put He forth unto them, saying, The Kingdom of Heaven is likened unto a Man which sowed good seed in the field. But while men slept, His enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.

A question was asked in Job 38:12 It says, “Have you commanded the morning since your days began, and caused the dawn to know its place?” What does that question say personally to you? Have you commanded that situation to make it know how to align in harmony with your destiny? Have you commanded that business to take on a new life and begin to blossom again? Have you commanded that sickness to go and never to come back to trouble you? “Have you commanded the morning since your days began, And caused the dawn to know its place”?

There are things that should not happen to us, and we can command the day not to allow those things to happen. Like God, we can, with our words, create what we want to see in the day, week, month and years ahead. You have a choice to till your ground and sow in it the crops of your choice. If you fail to do so, your ground will be overtaken by weeds. Open your mouth and command the things you want to see today.

Commanding your morning with scripture is a simple, yet very powerful spiritual technique that will allow you to walk in greater authority over your day.

It helps to set the tone for the day and activates God’s Word in your life.

Commanding your morning isn’t just about praying specific prayers. It’s actually speaking and prophesying over your day.

Some people may call this their daily confessions, declarations, or affirmations. Either way, they are using Bible verses to command their morning.

Let’s look at some scriptures about the power of our words to command our morning.

Job 22:28 says:

“You will also declare a thing,

And it will be established for you;

So light will shine on your ways.”

Proverbs 18:21 says:

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue,

And those who love it will eat its fruit.”

It is important to state here that we must be in right standing with God then, we can command our morning by declaring a thing and it will be established.

And yes, all that we are declaring must be in line with God’s will and truth for our lives

Shalom!

 

When You Stand Praying...

 

When You Stand Praying

 Mark 11:22-26

22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” 26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

This is one of the most popular portions of the scripture most short cut Christians love to quote, particularly vs 24. But, they forget to realize that the key to unlocking this promise of God resides in vs 25.

Thanks to pride or shame or apathy, we don't try to forgive, ask for forgiveness, and restore those relationships. God sacrificed His Son so that He can forgive us. While expecting God to forgive our heinous sins, we might not take five minutes to reconcile with someone no more a sinner than we are.

Talking about forgiveness can be one of the most difficult conversations we as Christians can have, because we want to forgive on our own terms. We want to forgive in convenience or when it suits our own needs.

Forgiveness releases the power, of the love, of Jesus Christ into our hearts, and lives. We grow, from being spiritual midgets, to spiritual giants, when we genuinely forgive.

One of the most quoted sentences about forgiveness is “I can forgive but I can’t forget”.

God’s standard is summed up in Psalm 103:12. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgression from us. 

Shalom!

 

Because You Have Prayed...

 

“Because You Have Prayed…..”

Isaiah 37:21

“Then Isaiah son of Amoz sent a message to Hezekiah: “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: Because you have prayed to me concerning Sennacherib king of Assyria,”

This phrase: "Because you have prayed..." in the above scripture verse jumped at me when I read it. The context is that Hezekiah, King of Israel, was boxed into a tight corner. Have you ever been tight? I guess you have.

The King of Assyria was hot on the heels of Hezekiah and humanly speaking, things looked really hopeless. Hezekiah's response was simply to spread the Assyrian letter of doom before the Lord and pray.

And God responded.

"Because you have prayed," He said, "I have spoken this word against the King of Assyria."

Who knows what would have happened if Hezekiah hadn't prayed. We don't know and can't read into the text, but what we DO know is that because Hezekiah prayed, God acted. He spoke against the King's enemy... directly because of Hezekiah's prayer.

I do not know what mountain you are being confronted with in life presently that has made things seem hopeless, but I do know what God promised in Psalms 50:15: “Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.”

Hannah in her childless situation in polygamous marriage cried to God and the Lord remembered her (1Samuel 1:1-2, 6, 9-11, 19-20).

In the heat of the battle, Joshua did a new thing by commanding the Sun and Moon to stand still. God answered Joshua’s prayer and the Sun stood still in heaven and didn’t go down for a whole day (Joshua 10:11-14).

Sorrow followed Jabez everywhere because of his name until he prayed to God for a change,and God granted his request (1Chron 4:9-10).

When Peter was imprisoned something different happened because the church offered continuous prayer to God for him. The incessant prayers reached God’s throne room and He sent His angel to miraculously rescue Peter from the prison where he was bound in chains between 2 soldiers (Acts 12:1-17).

Beloved in Christ, that same God who answered Hannah, Joshua, Jabez, and the church in Acts of the Apostles – just to mention a few, is still in the business of answered prayers.

Miracle no dey tire God!

Shalom!